Parenting children

3 Tips on Helping the Child Who Gives Up Easily

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It's downright frustrating dealing with a child who gives up easily. does your child give up too easily

It can be frustrating dealing with a child who gives up easily.

Whether your child melts down at the first sign of trouble, or does a quite fade into the background, your child needs to learn how to be persistent until they get what they need.

Children who give up easily have trouble  handling frustration.

One reason some children give up easily is because they can't handle it when things don't go they way they want or expect them to.

That doesn't mean that they're spoiled or unrealistic, however. Often, children with learning disabilities simply don't know what to do. Difficulty with sequencing skills, for example, could mean that if never occurs to your child to ask you for help when things go awry.

At the same time, children with weak language skills might not know how to ask for help effectively: they may not know exactly what to say, or might say it in a manner not appropriate for their age.

Try these 3 tips in order to help your child learn how to stick to his guns:

Choose one area that your child tends to give up easily.

It could be waiting in line for the slides at the playground, or getting dressed by themselves in the morning. Whatever you choose, it should be something small, so that your child can build up small successes.

Building up small successes is easier than going for one big success. Plus, it will boost your child's self-esteem so that he can go for the bigger goals.

Decide what your child needs to do in order to be successful in the situation you've chosen.

If, for example, your child always gets pushed to the back of the line while waiting to go on the slide, then you know your child needs to be able to stand firm and hold his place so others can't push him around.

Think to yourself: What body movements does he need to make? What does he need to say or do to get what he wants? In this case, it means he will need to position his body so other kids can't squeeze him out of his place.

He will also need to be able to say, "I was here first." And lastly, he will need to know how to decide what to do if a bigger or stronger child pushes through anyway.

Practice makes perfect.

Once you've determined what things your child needs to do in order to stand up for himself at the slides, it's time to practice. Role - playing is the best way to do this.

Simply have your child pretend to be the aggressive child, while you pretend to be him. First show him what it is he does, and then use role-playing to show him the right way to do things.

Focus on one skill at a time.  In this example, it would be learning how to stand to protect his body space. After you spend time practicing at home, go to the park, and have him practice at the park when it's not so crowded.
Praise him, and when he makes mistakes, just encourage him by gently saying, "you could try this too," and reminding him that once he knows how to do it, he won't lose his place anymore.
Once your child masters this step, you can go on to the next one. By taking things step by step, you are teaching your child valuable skills that they'll be able to use in a wide variety of situations.
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  • Rachel Mar 11,2012 at 5:34 pm

    Thanks Maura! I love what I do – and the more challenging, the better.

  • Maura Alia Badji (@MoxieB) Mar 10,2012 at 2:06 am

    Hi Rachel,
    We’re BlogFrog friends. Thanks so much for this great post! I’m a former Special Education teacher–I can tell you know your stuff and have a wonderful way of sharing your insights. Stop by my site when you have a moment?

    All best,
    The Moxie Bee

  • Rachel Mar 9,2012 at 1:26 pm

    Thanks Dov! I agree – there’s no bigger challenge (other than marriage, perhaps), that can truly develop a person’s personality. You’re forced to deal with all of the hangups, negative thoughts, etc. that otherwise you could probably ignore.

  • Dov Gordon Mar 9,2012 at 10:07 am

    Hi Rachel,

    You’re doing really important work. As a parent, it seems to me that parenting is probably the single greatest personal development program anyone can go through.


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