Category : Parenting children

Parenting children

Parenting Children- 9 Types of Parents: Which Group Are You In?


Want to know how to parent effectively? Then how about finding out what type of parent you are?

Usually when we think of parenting skills, we focus on the children: are they stubborn or placid? Are they energetic or do they like to take it easy?

Next we focus on the values and rules we use to discipline our children: are we permissive or strict? Do we want kids who are team players or kids who are independent thinkers?

However, one of the most important factors that parents often forget to take into account is the type of parent we actually are. Knowing what type of parent you are is crucial to understanding how you will relate to your children, both positively and negatively.

You’ll be able to tailor-make any parenting method so that it is the best fit for you and your family.

1. The Rule Maker

If you are this type of parent, you tend to place great value on following the rules. You focus not on having fun, but in making sure your children do what is right. You place great importance on order and structure and you are careful to train your children to be obedient from an early age.

In the ideal form, you are able to motivate your children by your strong conviction in doing what is right. You are able to accept the fact that children make mistakes, and to take into account the individual differences of children that make a difference in how they behave.

On the other hand, if you are on the unhealthy end of the spectrum, you can be perfectionist, controlling, and impersonal. You have a difficult time tolerating others’ weaknesses or mistakes, and so are often extremely critical of others.

Sometimes you also tend to project your own forbidden thoughts and desires on others. You see everyone else as “bad,” because you are unable to admit to the shame and self-hatred you feel about their own perceived failures.

2. Altruistic Giver

If you are an altruistic giver, your focus is on feelings. Ideally, you desire to love and protect others. You need to be important and appreciated by others, and you crave physical closeness. You are known as someone who can be counted on to help others, no matter what.

You have a tremendous ability to give to others, and so it is natural for you to help your family, neighbors, and even strangers, far beyond what most would be willing to do. You are also able to love your children unconditionally, and unselfishly; you give because you enjoy doing so, not in order to get something back.

If you are on the unhealthy spectrum, you still enjoy giving to your children, but you feel dependent on their approval. It’s sometimes hard for you to discipline your children firmly and consistently, because you are so concerned about them loving you.

Because you have a need to feel loved- but never really feel loved at any given point in time-you are very caught up in trying to gain approval. You may spread yourself so thin helping everyone else out that there is very little time left over for your own family. On the other hand, you can be very overprotective, in an attempt to control your children and ensure that they need you.

3. Self-Assured Motivator

If you are this personality type, you are driven to succeed to the fullest. You are a drawn to beauty, and you and your children are always dressed to the tee. You project an aura of elegance and refinement, even under the worst circumstances.

On the unhealthy end, you may be more concerned with flaunting your beauty and superiority. You are competitive, and look down on the less fortunate. For you love and success depend on recognition by others of your superior ability. You often push your children too far, demanding that they perform according to your desires and expectations-no matter what their talents, aspirations, or skills.

4. Spiritual Alchemist

As a spiritual alchemist, you experience feelings deeply. You have a need to create; that is your form of self-actualization. You can be very dramatic at times, but you are also spontaneous, empathetic, and genuinely share others’ pain.

As a parent you love making life a joyous experience for your children. You use all of your creative talents to help them experience the world in a positive manner. You are also very sensitive to how your children feel, catching their moods at an instant.

Your main difficulty as a parent is your conflict between your desire to develop your own creative potential, and the daily tasks that make-up motherhood. You also tend towards self-involvement and negativity, ignoring the good that others’ possess. This can lead you to depressive episodes which prevent you from relating or caring for your children.

5. Insightful Observer

You love to learn; your goal is to learn as much as you can about everything. You possess a brilliant mind, love learning for its own sake.

You enjoy sharing your knowledge with your children, and know exactly how to explain difficult concepts so they can understand. Sometimes you tend to get over-involved in your knowledge quests, and you may survive on very little food, sleep, or other material comforts.

You may feel bored an intellectually unstimulated around small children, finding it difficult to relate to their antics. You may also turn away from the typical parents’ gatherings at parks and other public places.

If you are on the unhealthy end, you tend to withdraw from those around you. You may ignore children who you feel cannot share your knowledge, and you feel only intellect has value. You look scornfully upon arts or other creative endeavors. You also worry constantly about having enough money, time, energy, and knowledge.

6. Devoted Loyalist

If you are in this category, you are highly-devoted to your family and friends. You are hard-working, playful, and like to spend your time helping to create and support community institutions, like your church or synagogue, school, or other groups that support social causes.

You identify strongly with the underdog, and may encourage your children to help the child who is left out at school, even going so far as to invite them over in an attempt to help them out.

On the unhealthy side, you may be controlling, demanding that your children show complete loyalty to you. You may become aggressive in an attempt to establish control of your household, or you may engage in passive-aggressive behavior in order to force your children to prove their loyalty.

7. Accomplished Adventurer

For you, life is an adventure. You love doing things just for the fun of it. You are energetic, and love doing all kinds of wild crazy things with your children that most other parents would consider too adventurous or too much trouble. However, you can still help your children find joy in the little things, like a walk in the woods, or an interesting stone.

However, you can get bored with day-to-day routines, often looking for a way to “spice things up a little,” or ignoring the task altogether. You may feel a constant need to be on the go, which means you often “run away” from your children. You may neglect your children in favor of social or business obligations, which appear more “fun” to you.

8. Magnanimous Leader

You have a very powerful personality if you belong in to this group. You are assertive and know how to take charge: you are a natural leader. As a parent you are decisive, authoritative, and determined to teach your children the skills they need to survive in a tough world.

Unfortunately, you can tend to be quite aggressive and controlling, even using violence if you feel it’s necessary. You may react violently to your children’s misbehavior, feeling it was done purposely.  You may also tend towards emotional aloofness, and have trouble relating to the day-to-day foibles of your children.

9. Tranquil Peacemaker

The last group of parents is especially peaceful and easygoing. You are deeply trusting of others, are supportive, and are content with your life as it is.

You remain calm even during the most trying times, so your children find it easy to turn to you when they need help. You are able to mediate between siblings, providing a tranquil island of calm for your family.

At times you may be too accommodating, and give-in for the sake of peace, even when you should stand up for yourself. You may also procrastinate, attempting to avoid very real problems you face with your children. You may even stubbornly resist any attempt any attempt to compel you to take action on behalf of a child in need.

Use your newfound knowledge to help you understand why you react to your children’s misbehavior in the way that you do. If you see similarities between yourself and some of the unhealthy extremes, don’t panic! Being aware of your imperfections is the first step in correcting them.

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Parenting children

3 Reasons Why It Pays to Break the Rules

From the moment our wrinkled red faces hit the light of this world, 3 reasons why you shouldn't follow the rulesuntil our (hopefully) ancient bones are laid to rest forever, we are subject to rules.

Rules that say how we should be put to sleep in our certifiably-safe beds, what clothes we should we wear, what schools we should go to, and who we should be friends with.

Call it safety measures, etiquette, common sense, guidelines, social graces,  or actual honest to goodness written in the lawbooks laws, most of us feel obligated to follow most of them most of the time – and do so with very little question on our parts.

Are you a consummate follower of rules?

When it comes to raising kids with LD, a lot of us –myself included – follow the same path. In fact, I’m the consummate rule-follower. When one of my sons was younger, he had some pretty big language delays. By the time he was in first grade, he only knew about 6 or 7 letters of the alphabet.

Of course, we were doing everything that the rules said we should be doing. Speech therapy twice a week since he was three. A tutor who worked hard on all the skills the school felt he needed. We even held him back, because the school said that would be the best thing for him: they promised that when he caught up, they’d bump him up right back to where he belonged.

Well, we followed that path through the woods without too much complaint, because we thought we could see that tasty little house up ahead with the fruit-flavored gumdrops and organic cookies.

Until our son was nearly eaten alive by the evil witch.

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Parenting children

The Truth about Lying

Lying is one of those things that’s as old as Adam and Eve. And whether it’s a little white lie told to spare someone’s feelings, or a biggie – everyone, at some point or another, has fallen prey to the temptation.

So when I noticed my 6 year old foster daughter lying outright, I wasn’t too upset. In our house, there’s a zero tolerance policy about lying. The kids know that as long as they tell the truth, they won’t get into any trouble (beyond the natural consequences that would normally occur from their actions).

Up until now, simple consequences and consistency have worked wonderfully with her and her sister. So I figured the same would work now: explain to her lying is not okay, and then a consequence each time she lies, no matter what. And of course, praise when she tells the truth, even though it may be have been difficult for her.

So I was really surprised to see that not only did that not work, but she was lying even more than usual! And not just lying, but lying complete with tears and protestations – a real dramatic performance. And it wasn’t only about big things – she was even lying about things that didn’t matter to anyone at all, things which she knew I would never even blink an eye about.

After watching her and thinking about it for a day or so, I finally figured out why she was lying, and why there was suddenly such a downturn in her behavior. I think you’ll find it interesting, because it shows how critical it is that we understand how our children’s learning deficits affect how they learn in school, and at home.

Here’s what I realized: N.’s sequencer is still out of whack.

To help you understand what I mean, let me explain what the sequencer does, and why that had a critical impact.

Think of the sequencer as a train that goes from one station to the other. It’s job is to help us bring information – usually auditory, from one part of the brain, to the next one in line.

All language, whether spoken or written, is sequential. Whether you’re reading one word or ten, hearing a song, or telling a story, you need to do it in the right order in order to understand or be understood.

But kids whose language development is weak, are stronger in association. Their minds work like a bumblebee on speed. Their thoughts seem to be everywhere but where they should be – sharply focused on the task at hand. That’s great for creativity, but lousy for learning consequences.

That meant that every time N. received a consequence – positive or negative- about lying, she didn’t connect it directly to her behavior.

Picture this:  I ask N. “Did you do it?” She insists, with tears and beseeching worthy of an Emmy, that “No! I NEVER did that!!” Whereupon incontrovertible evidence presents itself, showing that she told a lie.

I then gravely tell her that she told a lie, which she ruefully admits. That of course leads to a consequence, and an explanation (brief) afterwards of why it wasn’t okay. Sounds fine, right?

Well here is how N. interpreted it:

I told a lie  - I told the truth- I got punished.

Well of course this wrought havoc, since according to that reasoning she lost out either way: tell the truth, and you get punished, tell a lie, and you get punished. Of course she should have realized that she didn’t tell the truth at first, and that’s why she got punished. But she didn’t.

After a bit of thought, here’s what I did:

First, I took away the consequence, and simply reminded her that she has to tell the truth.

Second, I stopped asking her if she was telling a lie if I knew the truth already. I realized that it simply confused her or tempted her to lie. (Hint: do as I say, not as I do J).

And that was it! Problem solved! It took about two or three days until “the truth and nothing but the truth,” was being proclaimed throughout our not- so -quiet halls.

 

 

 

 

 

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Parenting children

What’s the REAL Reason Parenting Is So Difficult?

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One of the most difficult things I find about raising children-big or small- is the way it forces you to call upon every one of the abilities you possess (and even some that you don’t). I like to give the example of my job as residence manager at a 24-hour supervised residence for emotionally disabled women.

Those were the days before cell phones were popular, so I carried a beeper 24 hours a day. I was responsible for 12 clients and nearly double that in staff. My work days were regularly 10 or more hours long, and on any one of those days I might have been running a staff meeting, preparing for a state inspection, or evaluating whether or not a client’s out of control behavior warranted a trip to the psych ward at the local hospital- to be escorted by yours truly.

Still, after all of that responsibility, it was ten times harder to be a stay-at-home mom with my EIGHT MONTH OLD daughter. Yep, to some of you out there it may seem like an exaggeration. Others of you out there I’m sure are nodding your heads in agreement. So, for the clueless I’ll spell it out: raising a child is hard work if you take it seriously.

Now I DON’T mean running around to take your child to Little League, or piano lessons, or a local swim meet. Nor do I mean the time it takes to find the right school for your child, or pick out the best educational toy on the market. That’s just the busy work, the little details that clutter up the big picture.

In reality, the hardest part of raising children is being suddenly faced with YOURSELF.

What the heck does that mean?

Being a parent, and especially a stay-at-home one, means you are suddenly on your own. No longer will your boss praise you for a job well done, while your colleagues look on with envy. No longer will you finish the day with a good day’s work behind you, closing the book on a list of old tasks completed and new ones yet to be done.

At home, you face the same jobs over and over. You will spend an hour doing dishes while trying to supervise play time, and then someone will come along and put a dirty plate in the sink. Then you’ll spend a few hours trying to put children to bed who have absolutely no desire for sleep, despite the fact that you are dead on your feet.

How will you react? Will you let your tiredness and your frustration rule the roost, or will you be able to take a step back and remember what parenting is all about anyway? Will you be able to reach deep down inside, and motivate yourself- without relying on the praise of others- to get the job done?

Being a good parent especially means being forced to evaluate your values, beliefs, and ideals. For example, when your preschooler throws a fit in the canned goods aisle at the local supermarket, you’ll be forced to make a split second decision: will you choose to care about what people think about you? Or will you let your fear of what other people override what you know is best?

Will you put yourself before your child, because you have one more thing to buy that can’t wait, or will you be able to put your child’s needs before yours?

Fortunately, parenting is not an all or nothing venture. I have days where I realize I spent all of my time glued to the computer, trying to get a little bit of work done. I didn’t have to; it was just easier than facing the hullaboo outside my door.

Then there are times when I realize I spent the entire day ordering everyone around, attempting to maintain order among the masses. It was only after I went to bed, that I realized I never read that new library book I brought especially for my seven year old, or that I never made the homemade fingerpaint I promised myself I’d make together with my 2 and 3 year olds.

It’s those times, after a final circuit through the house covering up little bodies and looking in on bigger ones, that I am thankful that tomorrow I’ll have a chance to do it all over again.

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Parenting children

Parenting Children: Little Mommy Dolls: Wouldn’t A Real Kid Be Better?

Parenting children has just risen to a new level. Now, instead of competing about who has the most up-to-date wardrobe or the fanciest Little Tykes car, your little girl can now boast about her burgeoning mothering skills.

Fisher Price's new Little Mommy Play All Day doll has some convinced it's a stand in for Chucky. Others argue that dolls are just the natural choice for a little girl; the more realistic they are, the better.

All of the furor makes me wonder why no one thinks of the obvious: is it impossible for you to just find some REAL baby for your kid to play with?

I'm sure there are more than a few people who will be hysterical about this suggestion. Those are probably the same people who watched CBS's show on how to safely care for your infant, where it was recommended that you take your baby with you to the bathroom.

I don't know about you, but it will be soon enough that your little one will be banging on the door while you do your business. Why hasten the process?

Of course I'm not suggesting you leave your toddler unsupervised with your neighbor's little one (unless you favor family planning after the fact). But it's far from inconceivable to suggest that she might have more fun, and learn a lot more about mothering from the real thing.

And that, my dear friends and neighbors, is the real problem with this doll. We are so focused in this society on pseudo-experiences, when the real thing is so much better.

Maybe we need to stop PLAYING at life and get to work on LIVING it.

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Parenting children

Parenting Solutions: Top 4 Ways to Help Your Child Succeed In Life

kids

It's easy to forget what true success is when faced with the daily trials of parenting. It's helpful to take a step back from time to time in order to consider what success is, and how we can help our children get there. Here are the top 5 ways you can help your child succeed in life:

1. Help her develop a hobby. In the days of computer games and internet connectivity, hobbies may seem outdated. However, having a hobby is useful for several reasons.

One, a child can become the "expert" in whatever they choose. This can be a real boost to self-esteem, especially for a child who might have challenges in other areas. Second, by constantly rearranging, adding to, and exploring her area of interest, she is practicing the fundamental habits of scientific investigation.

2. Let him make mistakes. Often parents find it difficult to stand by and let their children suffer the pain and disappointment mistakes bring. In reality, mistakes are simply learning opportunities. Teach your child to look at mistakes as a chance to find out "the right way to do things."

True, they can sometimes be embarrassing, humiliating, or worse, but they also give us a chance to grow and be a better person than we were. Better yet, you can model the correct behavior when you find yourself in the midst of a mistake. Instead of self-accusations, blaming, or predicting doom, you can explain to your child that you made a mistake. Your child can then listen as you work out a solution to the problem out aloud.

3. Help your child perform an act of kindness for others on a regular basis. Helping others is a sure way of teaching your child to give back in return for all that he has been given. Teach your child to recognize all the good that he has- and everyone has at least one good thing in their lives-allowing  him to take the focus off of what he is entitled to.

Doing so will make him feel more powerful, and he will start to realize how he is able to change the world around him for the better. And by the way, acts of kindness should be anything but random. Randomness implies you are doing it "just because," and not for any specific reason; it denigrates that act to a whim or a fancy. Performing acts of kindness is not about you feeling good enough to help another person: it is about helping another person because they need it.

4. Celebrate small successes. There is no such thing as instant success. We may hear about someone seemingly "making it big" overnight, but of course that's because the TV cameras don't record all the hours that person spent working hard to get where they are now.

Explain to your child that they are  like soldiers on a battlefield. Soldiers don't try and capture the whole country at once; instead they focus on conquering one section at a time. This is what a "battlefront" is. Show pride in the fact that your child has managed to win a little bit of the battle, and express your confidence in him being able to conquer the next step.

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Parenting children

Keeping the Dream Strong: 3 Tips on How to Imagine Your Child’s Success

parenting children with learning disabilities

 

What do you think the most important factor is in making sure your LD child succeeds?

I asked this question to a wide-variety of people: friends, clients, and acquaintances. It didn't matter whether they were rich or poor, immigrant or native to the U.S. since the Mayflower.

Nor did it matter what color they were. The most popular answers were: money, having access to the best therapies, or having the time and patience to do all that needs to be done, in that order.

Wrong.

I've been in this field for more than 20 years, and if there's one factor that I've seen over and over again, is that someone in that child's life has to be able to hold on to the dream of that child's success.

That person doesn't have to be a mother or father. They don't even have to be a relative. It could be a teacher, a neighbor, or even the man at the kiosk stand down the street. But it has to be someone who stands with their back to the wind, plants their feet, and is ready to stand up for that child, do or die.

Not many people can do that. Not many people can look an expert in the face - the one with three degrees and the prices to prove it - and say "You're wrong. My child WILL do better than that."

There aren't a lot of people who can face the criticism, the rolling of the eyeballs, the knowing smiles, and the pity parties.

What a shame that Amy Chua gave a bad name to the term "Tiger Mom." Because it's not so often that a Tiger Mom has to put on the big red boxing gloves and fight - Mohammed Ali style - the establishment.

Most of the time it means sticking to the straight path day after day, week after week, making your way through a jungle of regressions, discontent, and sameness.

But it can be done. Here are 3 tips that will help you do just that:

Keep one foot in the future - but leave the other in the present.

A dream keeper has one foot in the future - but the other one in the present. Yes, you need to have a vision of what your child's future can be. But you need to break those goals into bite-sized pieces, bits that you can tackle one by one, on a daily basis.

Find someone to share the journey with.

You may read about one-man journeys to Kilimanjaro, or solo hikes through the Amazon. From the outside, it looks as if it one person did all the fancy footwork. In reality, however, you can't succeed alone. You need someone, maybe even a few someones- to help you celebrate the good and the bad.

Celebrate the little things.

Living with a child who has learning disabilities means there will be times when nothing seems to work. Times when you just can't take it anymore, and you hate yourself for even thinking of giving up. Times when everything you do seems to take you back to a brick wall that's impossible to climb.

The truth is, that you will almost never have the really big moment where everything suddenly goes right. The child who has reading problems won't just stand up and read Anna Karenina with feeling and intent. The child who's failed on nearly every single math test since school started won't start spouting Einstein's theory of relativity.

Life just doesn't work that way.

But there will be days when you watch your child read the next paragraph in her reader - and she won't stumble on every word. The day will come when your son finally remembers all of the multiples of number 8.

Take those moments, hold them gently in your hand, and hold on tight to each one. And yes, celebrate the success that each one is. Because true success - long lasting success- is made up of a thousand small ones.

 


Keep dreaming.

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Parenting children

4 Must-Know Tips on Helping Your Child Be Less Aggressive

scream and shout, a photo by mdanys on Flickr.

It’s happened again.

Your third-grader was sent out of class again for shoving a classmate in the hallway. Frustrated, discouraged, you wonder what set him off this time. Was he tired? Did he get a bad grade on a test? Whatever the reason, you’re at a loss of what to do: how can you help your child learn how to control himself?

1) Keep an eye on the intake/outtake pipes.

I was often bewildered when out of the blue, one of my children would suddenly go ballistic for no obvious reason. Eventually I figured out that he hadn’t eaten; once he ate, he was transfigured back to hi s regular persona.

If you notice your child turning aggressive with no noticeable pattern, consider insisting he eat a protein snack, such as cheese, peanut butter, or natural beef jerky. Bananas, which are full of potassium, are also a quick picker-upper.

A friend of mine noticed her child often acts out when he needs to use the bathroom. For some reason, the sensory stimulation is too much for him.

2) Consider whether your child is in sensory overload.

Children with sensory issues can appear persnickety. One morning they can handle seeing tomatoes on a sibling’s plate, while the next they can smell them in the closed refrigerator. It’s not done purposely, although it may seem like it. Picture your child’s sensory system as a plastic 8 oz. cup. Loud alarm clock (2 oz.) + strong shampoo smell (1 oz) + getting your hair brushed (4 oz.) =OVERLOAD.

Some days this happens sooner, and some days it might not happen at all, depending what your child’s triggers are. While some children turn inwards when this happens, others explode in a cascading ball of rage and frustration.

Teach your child to be more aware of his sensory triggers, and encourage him to engage in soothing activities that will help him empty his “cup,” and you’ll uncover a more peaceful child.

3) Teach your child to express himself.

No, I don’t mean your child should take up mixed martial arts or explore the fine art of hang gliding – though that may be interesting. Instead, consider the fact that because children with language development issues have trouble expressing their feelings, needs, and wants, they are often trapped by unpleasant feelings and thoughts tumbling around in their heads.

Talking about how he feels may be a task beyond your child for the moment, but you can help him loosen the release valve by joining in while he plays. Letting him take the lead helps give him a sense of control, while pretend play is a safe way for him to experiment with his desire for control, or need to be dependent.

4) Don’t forget to spend more time with your child.

When your child acts up, it’s a natural response to be so angry at your child that you can’t even look him in the face for a while. While it’s understandable to you however, it will definitely sour your relationship with your child.

Tightening the valves on one aspect of your child’s behavior means you need to find a way to loosen them somewhere else. Be sure to spend more time doing something enjoyable with your child. Whether it’s reading an extra chapter of a favorite book at bedtime, or sharing a cuddle in the early morning, it’s important to spend time accentuating the positives.

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Parenting children

Parenting Children: 3 Tips On How to Rock Your (Child’s) World

So you’re feeling like the loser of the century because you forgot to do your child’s therapy exercises – again. Or maybe your child had a bunch of homework you just knew she needed to do NOW, and you told your kid to tell the teacher your mother lost the assignment sheet. And those sensory diet exercises? Yeah, I guess I’ll get to that- tomorrow. I hope.

We all face moments – dare I say days? - when we know we should be doing more for our kids but just can’t seem to get our heads or our hands around it. Somehow the job seems overwhelming when put next to the all the other demands a mother faces.

It’s easy to get so backed up that you can’t even look the job in the eyes again without feeling like a complete screw- up. Ashamed of ourselves, and carrying enough guilt to feed a third world country, we drop the task with the excuse that it can’t be done.

Take a look at the video I posted yesterday. Then read these tips that will help you ditch the loser tag and rock your child’s world.

1)  Just try it. How many times have your kids moaned they couldn’t accomplish some minor (or major) feat? What did you tell them? Yeah, that’s right – classic case of the pot calling the kettle black.

It’s easy to let the desire for everything to be perfect stop you: you want to have the right time, the right place, the right materials, etc. But let’s face it, you’ll probably never have the right combination of perfect all at once. Instead of obsessing, make some effort to get the job done. It doesn’t matter if you it’s only a token effort – some attempt is definitely better than none at all.

There, you see? Nobody popped out of the closet and arrested you for impersonating a responsible parent now did they?

2) Bigger is NOT better. A lot of us tend to look at the whole enchilada. Who wouldn’t be depressed? I bet if most first graders realized they had 11 more years (at least) of sucking up to the teacher there would be a lot more tears on the first day of school.

But kids take things one day at a time – and so should you. Stop obsessing about whether or not your child will be President of the United States. Start thinking about what you can do tomorrow that will help your child do better than he did yesterday.

3) Take it where you can get it. Help, I mean. Most moms have gotten over the supermom syndrome. I mean, if you live any sort of life at all with a child who has any issues at all, you get over that nonsense real fast.

But what does happen is that we know need more help, but it’s just too much of a pain in the neck to get the ball rolling. We can’t face the thought of trying to rally up more help – more stuff to do – so we just do it ourselves.

That’s a HUGE mistake. Now, not only does everyone assume you don’t need any help, they figure you like doing it all by yourself.

Of course that’s not true, and you’d figure that any sane person would know otherwise, but alas, these are the facts of life. If you want people to help you, you’ve got to let them.

Sure it may take some time until they figure out the ropes, but in the end it’s worth it. Make a list of five things you need help with, and figure out who you can delegate that job to. Then do it!

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Why Screwing Up Is Good for Your Kids

Sometimes you get to the point where you are sick and tired of rescuing your kid from disaster. children's success

It’s not like you don’t care. You do. But eventually you start to wonder if maybe your son isn't doomed for life if you don't stay up until 2 am to finish that (very, very overdue) science paper.

Or maybe, just maybe, your 13 year old daughter won’t melt into a puddle of steaming goo if you let her take the bus after she refuses to get out of bed on time – for the third time this week.

Somewhere in the deep recesses of your brain (the one that used to function a lot faster way back when) you know it’s not the greatest way to teach your kids responsibility, independence, or any of those other high-falutin’ ideas you used to trumpet when the kids were still cute little balls of fat that spit up on you occasionally.

But somehow watching your kids fail feels like getting a test back full of red x’s.

Wonder why? Read on. 

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